


Exit Wounds

by nonbinaryspock



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Demon AU, Fantasy Creature AU, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, monster au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 12:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 18,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14056584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinaryspock/pseuds/nonbinaryspock
Summary: Edward Nygma is a private investigator for supernatural creatures in the city. Jonathan is his demon ex boyfriend. After five years apart, Jonathan shows up at Edward's doorstep unannounced.Needless to say, Edward is less than pleased.





	1. Chapter 1

Edward opens his notebook. He holds his pen poised above the paper. Crosses his legs under the table. “So,” he begins, offering the client a polite, professional smile, “you think your girlfriend is secretly a wood nymph?”

“Yes,” the client says, nodding his head gravely. “I’m almost sure of it.”

“Can you tell me what led you to that conclusion?”

“She loves plants. Her feet are always dirty. And… she _never_ wears a bra.” He says this as if he just blew the whole case wide open.

“…Okay.” Edward makes a note— _Hippie feminist—_ continuing to feign a smile. “Anything else?”

“Is that not enough?” he asks, seeming genuinely confused that the information he gave wasn’t enough to definitively diagnose his girlfriend as a supernatural woodland creature.

“No, no, that’s… perfectly sufficient.” He closes his notebook, setting his pen down on top of it. “I can take it from here. Do you have the deposit?”

“Deposit?”

“…Yes. I require a forty dollar non-refundable deposit when taking a case.” He clears his throat. “It’s in the fine print.”

“Oh,” he says slowly. He digs around in his pockets, producing a handful of crumpled receipts, a tangled pair of headphones, and a two dollar bill. “Um… Do you take Venmo?” he asks sheepishly.

Edward sighs, leaning back in his chair. “Yes. I take Venmo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little intro chapter to set things up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some of you may have seen this chapter already because I posted it on my tumblr as a preview for thsi fic, so don't be alarmed if you get a bit of deja vu

It’s been a long day. A long day of stupid, miniscule cases. ‘Help, my girlfriend is cheating on me with a succubus!’ ‘I knew this guy back in the seventeen hundreds, is he still alive?’ ‘My girlfriend is a wood nymph!’ What a waste of time.

He wipes his desk with disinfectant wipes. Wonders what he should have for dinner. He has leftover lasagna. But he’s also really craving eggs for some reason.

The bell attached to the front door rings. He could’ve sworn he locked up already. “We’re closed,” he calls, continuing to wipe down the table.

“If I remember correctly, you accept certain customers after midnight.”

Oh. Edward turns, surveying his uninvited guest.

He looks… vaguely human. More human than he’s seemed in the past. He’s hitting all the requirements—two eyes, skin, the right amount of limbs—but there’s something… _off_ about him. Something almost ethereal. “You’re too tall,” he remarks flatly.

Jonathan shrugs, dropping into the chair reserved for clients. “I always forget how tall humans are supposed to be.”

“Not that tall.” He grabs a broom and dustpan, sweeping up nonexistent dirt as an excuse not to talk to Jonathan.

“Are you still upset with me?”

“ _Are you still upset with me?_ ” he mocks under his breath.

He rolls his eyes. “It’s been five years.”

“You say that as if it’s not part of the problem.”

Jonathan sighs, crossing his absurdly long legs. Someone needs to teach him what human anatomy looks like. “I brought you something.”

Edward says nothing. He keeps sweeping.

“You’ll like it,” he coaxes.

He hates to admit that he’s curious. He refuses to give in this quickly, but… Well. He really likes gifts. And Jonathan always was so good at gift giving. But he stays silent.

“Darling,” he murmurs, his voice taking on a much smoother quality. “At least give me the chance to make it up to you.”

He’s aware of the possibility that Jonathan is using some type of demon magic to persuade him, but he doesn’t care. “What did you get me?”

Jonathan takes a small box out of the inside pocket of his jacket, sliding it across the table toward Edward. “It was damn near impossible to get those, you know.”

“Oh, I’m sure you had _such_ a hard time convincing people to give you something,” he says sarcastically, opening the box. It’s full of small, faintly glowing blue orbs. “I don’t even know what these are.”

“They’re seeds from a fruit that only fairies know how to harvest.”

“You got me seeds?” He takes one of the orbs out of the box. It’s got a squishy outer casing with a hard center.

“They’re a delicacy, with some minor magical properties. And they’re ridiculously rare—they only grow under certain conditions in hundred year cycles.”

“But they’re just… seeds.”

“Try one. I guarantee you’ll like it and you’ll feel bad for being so ungrateful.”

He gives Jonathan a skeptical look, but pops the seed into his mouth anyway. The texture is comparable to a pomegranate seed, but the taste… It’s not like anything he’s ever had before. It’s a little sweet, a little floral, and it sort of tastes the way sparkling wine _feels._

He hates when Jonathan is right.

“Well?” Jonathan asks, a small smile playing on his lips.

“It’s good,” he grumbles. “I like it.”

“I knew you would.”

He sticks his tongue out, closing the box. “I believe you mentioned magical properties?”

“They’re good for uplifting your mood, as well as insight and psychic abilities. And they make your hair healthier.”

“So was this an elaborate ploy to make me eat magic seeds and stop being mad at you?”

“Not unless it’s working.”


	3. Chapter 3

“What brings you back to the city?” Edward asks, feigning nonchalance.

“You.”

Jonathan is nothing if not straightforward. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“And where exactly do you think I’m trying to get?” Jonathan inspects the contents of Edward’s fridge, his brow furrowing.

“Into my pants, probably,” he grumbles. “Stop judging the food I buy.”

“Do you really need two huge jars of pickled jalapenos?”

“Yes, I do, and they were two for four dollars at Costco, so shut up.” He reaches to close the refrigerator door, flicking the side of Jonathan’s head. “Nosy bastard.”

“I’m not the one who snoops in people’s lives for a living.”

“No, but you do it for fun, and that’s worse.” He sits down at the kitchen table. “You can’t actually be here just to see me.”

“Why can’t I?”

“Well, you clearly don’t care about me at all, so why would you be?” He doesn’t bother trying to hide the bitterness in his voice.

Jonathan sighs, joining him at the table. “Perhaps we should talk,” he murmurs.

“Oh, so _now_ you want to talk?”

“Edward—”

“You _left_ me,” he interrupts, his voice low. “For five years. No note, no goodbye, nothing. You just left. And I’d like to say I can’t believe you would do that, but… well. You’re you. And I don’t know what I expected.” He avoids meeting Jonathan’s gaze. He can’t bring himself to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I just never thought to—Five years is barely any time for me. I didn’t know that it would… affect you like that.”

“I loved you so much, and I thought you—” Edward cuts himself off. He doesn’t have any right to expect an actual demon to be in love with him. He set himself up for disappointment. “I don’t want to fight with you.”

“We’ve fought before.”

“But I don’t want you to leave again,” he blurts out. “So I’m trying not to be mad at you.”

“You’re allowed to be mad at me. It’s my fault”

“I know. But I’m trying not to be.” He sighs, smoothing his hair down with his palm. “Stay the night,” he says after a while. “And we can… Talk in the morning. If you want.”

“Do you not want to?” he asks.

“I just don’t think there’s much to say. We both know what happened. It’s just about… Learning to live with it, I guess.”

Jonathan nods slowly, lowering his eyes. “I guess you’re right.”


	4. Chapter 4

Edward wakes up engulfed by feathers.

He groans softly, relaxing against Jonathan’s ridiculously long, downy torso. He seems to be even taller than he was before. One of his weird bird legs is draped across Edward’s shins. The other seems to be dangling off the edge of the bed.

He rolls over, burying his face in Jonathan’s chest. The edges of his feathers tickle Edward’s cheeks and he feels the urge to just… rub his face in them. But that would be weird, so he resists that urge.

He feels Jonathan’s arms—wings?—come to circle around him, pulling him tighter against the mass of feathers. “Are you awake?” he asks quietly. His voice sounds a little different. Deeper. Or something.

“No,” Edward grumbles. “I’m sleeping. Leave me alone.”

Jonathan laughs softly, the sound accompanied by a faint clicking noise. “Stop pretending you don’t like me.”

“Who’s pretending?” He reaches around Jonathan, running his hands up his back.

He squirms, making a noise of discomfort as Edward ruffles his feathers. “They’re going to get all bent,” he whines.

“Boo hoo.” He works his way up to Jonathan’s shoulder blades. His breath catches in his throat as his touch settles on a small, tough protrusion that can only be described as a… stump. There’s a second one parallel to the first, but slightly larger. “What happened?” Edward asks, pulling away from his chest.

“What do you mean?”

“You… you used to have wings here.”

“…Oh.” He rolls over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. For the first time in years, Edward looks at his face. If you could call it that.

It’s more beak than anything else. And he has too many eyes. There’s some skin visible, but it’s not… right. It’s a dull grey color, pulled taut around his skull. Edward can imagine a situation where that would be mildly terrifying, but his profile is so ridiculous—especially when he’s looking straight up—that it becomes sort of endearing.

Edward sits up, running his fingers through his hair. “Did someone do that to you?” he asks, returning his attention his wings, or lack thereof.

“It’s complicated. Consider it… a demotion.”

“Demoted from what to what?”

“What I was before to what I am now.”

Cryptic bastard. “Fine. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know anyway.”

“I’m sure you don’t.” Jonathan sits up as well, making Edward acutely aware of just how tall he actually is. In this form, he generally stands around eight feet or so, but it’s been so long since Edward’s actually… been confronted by that fact.

He reaches out to tap Jonathan’s beak with his fingernail. “Put your human face back on,” he says.

“Fine. Don’t look.”

He closes his eyes, turning away for good measure. He _hates_ watching Jonathan change. It’s like something out of a horror movie. “Tell me when you’re done.”

After a few moments of quiet shuffling, Jonathan says, “Finished.”

Edward turns around, stifling laughter. “You look so bizarre,” he says, covering his mouth with his hand. He looks positively ridiculous with just a human head on top of his giant bird body.

“Well, you only _asked_ me to change my face,” he mutters. “If you want me to look human, that’ll take a minute.”

“No, no, I like it,” he says, reaching to cup Jonathan’s face in his hands. “You’re like a cute little… You look like an arts and crafts project that a fifth grader would make. Like, those kids that sniff glue.”

“Humans are surprisingly good at coming up with…very specific insults.”

“I meant that in the nicest way possible.”

“Sure you did.”


	5. Chapter 5

“So,” Edward announces, coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his head. “I have to go out and do work stuff today, so you have to leave.”

“Why can’t I just stay here?” Jonathan asks, inspecting the books in Edward’s room. He must have switched into his human form while Edward was showering. His proportions are still completely off, but his height is more in the realm of humanity. He takes a copy of _War and Peace_ off the shelf, holding it up. “Did you actually read this or do you just pretend you did?”

He snatches the book out of Jonathan’s hand, putting it back in its spot. “ _This_ is why you can’t stay here. I don’t want you going through my things,” he snaps. “Find somewhere else to be.”

“But I don’t—” He cuts himself off. Changes tactics. “What if I stay downstairs in the office?” he suggests. “I can take calls and talk to clients. And I can get a list of all the case options for you.”

“I don’t want you talking to clients—you look _insane_ right now.”

“I made myself shorter, what more do you _want_ from me?”

“Look at your arms!” He points at Jonathan’s reflection in the mirror. He’s shrunk down to about six foot five—his previous idea of a ‘normal human height’ was around seven feet—but his arms are far too long in comparison to his torso. His face is too pointy, his skin is too pale. And Edward doesn’t even want to _talk_ about the state of his legs. “You’ve been alive for _millennia,_ is that _really_ what you think humans look like?”

“It’s what I think you _should_ look like.”

Edward groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why can’t you just go somewhere else for the day?”

“Where do you suggest I go?”

“Home. The park. A restaurant. You could go to the fucking moon for all I care, I just don’t want you here.”

What little pigment he’s managed to create drains out of his face. “…You used to like having me around,” he says quietly.

“Having you around isn’t the same as having you unsupervised in my home or my office.”

“I know.” He sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “But I don’t… Have anywhere to stay.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was planning on staying in the city for a while but I haven’t quite… figured out a place of residency yet.” He bites the edge of his lower lip. “I meant to tell you.”

Edward sighs. Of course his ex is a homeless demon. _Of course_ that’s something he has to deal with. “Okay. Fine. If you can make yourself look more normal, I’ll let you stay. And you can work downstairs during the day. But you’re not allowed in my apartment during the workday if I’m not here.”

He nods quickly. “I promise I won’t mess with your things.”

“Good.” He takes the towel off his head, handing it to Jonathan. “I’ve got to go. Will you hang this up for me?”

“Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he legs too big for he gotdamn body


	6. Chapter 6

Edward sits with his legs dangling over the edge of the fire escape, camera in hand. He looks through the viewfinder, using it to peer into apartment windows across the street. He locates the apartment of the person he’s investigating, only to see that the curtains are drawn and he can’t look inside. Damn. Why can’t people cheat on their partners right in front of open windows like they do on TV?

He turns his attention to the neighboring apartment. Watches a teenager getting high in their bedroom, trying to cover up the smoke with a can of Lysol. He concludes that teenage stoners are most likely the cause of the hole in the ozone layer. Bored, he looks back at the target’s apartment.

To his relief, the resident of the apartment has opened the curtains! Finally. He adjusts the camera angle, waiting for something to happen.

But nothing happens. She just sits in her room, on her computer, doing nothing.

He groans. Takes a picture anyway. Prepares to pack up his gear.

Sometimes, being a private investigator is really, really boring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is dumb and short the next one will be better i promise


	7. Chapter 7

Edward trudges into his apartment, depositing his camera bag on an armchair in the living room. Jonathan wasn’t downstairs in the office. He isn’t in the apartment either. Maybe he finally found somewhere else to go.

He’s not quite sure how he feels about that possibility.

He sinks into the couch, curling up into a ball and turning on the television. He could watch Jeopardy. But he’s exhausted, and doesn’t want to use his brain. The new season of Queer Eye is on Netflix, but does he really want to watch it if Ted Allen isn’t in it?

It occurs to him that he’s going to have to eat. Which means making food. Cooking. No thanks.

There’s a knock at the door. Annoyed, he gets up and looks through the peephole. Jonathan stands outside, holding two paper bags. He sighs, opening the door to let him in. “Did you have fun dealing with idiot clients all day?”

“Oh, it was delightful,” Jonathan says, making a beeline toward the kitchen. “Someone wants you to serve paternity papers to a centaur. Can you imagine?”

“Happens all the time. Centaurs, incubi, ghosts. You name it, human women are being impregnated by it.”

Jonathan sighs wistfully, beginning to unpack the bags. “You’re such a beautifully bizarre species.”

“Oh sure, _we’re_ the weird ones.” He reclaims his seat on the couch, watching Jonathan putter around in the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“Cooking.”

He can't remember the last time he saw Jonathan cook. “Do you even eat?”

“Of course I eat,” he says, taking a box of pasta out of the bag. “Why, just today I swallowed a possum whole for lunch.”

“That’s fucking disgusting,” Edward says, wrinkling his nose. “I can’t believe I used to kiss you.”

“You’re in no position to judge. Humans eat _eggs_. That’s pretty fucked up.” He puts a pan on the stove, pouring a jar of marinara sauce into it. “You take something bees regurgitate and you use it as a condiment. And _fast food—_ ” He groans in disgust, beginning to chop garlic and add it to the pan. “At least my possum is all natural.”

“But why don’t you _chew?_ ”

“I don’t have teeth!”

“You have teeth right now—I can see them!” He hears the words coming out of his mouth, fully aware that this argument is ridiculous but still unwilling to concede.

“These,” Jonathan says, tapping one of his front teeth with his fingernail, “are useless. They’re so fragile and inefficient. How are you supposed to eat the bones?”

“Wh—You’re not supposed to eat bones!”

“But they’re the _best part_.”

“It baffles me how completely oblivious you are about the most basic human behaviors.”

He points threateningly at Edward with a pasta spoon. “Stop being rude to me or I won’t cook for you.”

“Nobody asked you to—You’re cooking for me?”

“Yes. I was going to make the sauce that you like.” He takes a jar of olives out of the fridge, adding some to the sauce and stirring them in.

“…Why?”

“If memory serves, you like my cooking.”

He _loves_ Jonathan’s cooking. “It’s fine,” he says nonchalantly.

“Well, I wanted to do something… nice. For you.” He stirs the sauce absently, not really looking at it. “Thank you for letting me stay here,” he says quietly. “And I’m sorry that I—I didn’t mean to put you in this situation.”

“It’s fine,” he says again, his tone softening. “Really, I… don’t mind having you around.” He clears his throat. “And… I missed you. Just a little.”

“Well. Maybe I missed you a little too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dumb boys don't know how to be vulnerable with each other  
> also to ppl who left comments on this or a little wicked: i see them im going to reply to them im just depressed so it's taking a while


	8. Chapter 8

Edward sorts through the stack of case files accumulating on his desk. There’s the paternity papers, the nymph, a new one about a changeling child… He sighs. Maybe he could convince Jonathan to get some of his demon cronies to help out.

“Edward, I forget, are humans the ones that _don’t_ eat worms?”

But, then again, they’re not the most… competent creatures. “As a general rule, humans don’t eat bugs.”

“That’s a shame,” Jonathan says, leaning out the window slightly. “You’re missing out.”

“I’m sure I am. What are you doing?”

“Oh, there’s—there are birds out here.”

“Hm. Anyone you know?” Edward asks. He joins Jonathan by the window, peering out to see a group of pigeons gathered outside.

“Yeah, actually, these are all my children,” he says, making a sweeping gesture towards the birds. “Their names are Ed, Eddie, Edward, and Eddy with a Y.”

“I’m sensing a pattern.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He makes a soft clicking noise, beckoning for the pigeons to come closer. “Do you want me to watch the office today?”

“Actually, can you do some field work for me?”

He nods, retreating from the windows. “Do you mind if I feed the birds first?”

“That’s fine. As long as you’re finished by the end of the work day.” He passes Jonathan two manila folders. “All the case details are in here. If you need anything… figure it out.”

“Gee, thanks.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Let’s start from the beginning,” Edward says, preparing his notebook. “When did you start noticing changes in your daughter’s behavior?”

The woman sitting across from him sniffles, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. “A few months ago. She started hanging around this boy, and… I told her to stay away from him.”

“How did she meet him?”

“They went to school together. Or, _she_ went to school and _he_ hung out on campus and set bugs on fire.”

Edward nods. Scribbles ‘violent tendencies’ and ‘sociopath?’ into his notes. “Were they romantically involved?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know anything about the details of their relationship? Things they liked to do together, places they liked to go, anything like that?”

“She never told me that sort of thing. And, frankly, I didn’t want to hear it.” She shakes her head, wiping her eyes again. “I kept trying to tell her that he was—well, calling him ‘mean’ would be an understatement. That boy was downright _cruel._ And she just couldn’t see that.”

“So she ran away with him.”

She nods quickly, tears welling in her eyes. “She just… left. Without telling anyone, or packing her things. I had to find out when her school notified us that she’d be absent for weeks.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been very difficult for you.” So far, this seems to be a particularly mundane case. Which isn’t necessarily a reason not to take it—he _does_ need the money—but he’s not quite sure why this woman chose him to investigate her daughter’s disappearance.

“Do you think you’ll be able to find her?” she asks. “The person who referred you said you get good results.”

“I can assure you, I’m more than qualified to handle your daughter’s case.” He offers her a reassuring smile, reaching across the desk to pat the back of her hand. “I’ll have her back in no time. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sick rn and im not uper happy with this chapter but i feel too icky to fix it


	10. Chapter 10

Edward sighs contentedly, allowing himself to be embraced by his lover du jour. He buries his face in the curve of his neck. Presses his lips to a patch of horribly scarred flesh just above his clavicle. He doesn’t know why a demon, who can make himself look however he likes, would _choose_ to have such prominent scars all over the left side of his body. But he figures it would be rude to ask, so he keeps his mouth shut.

His partner—Harvey, if memory serves—shifts slightly, giving Edward room to stretch out on the bed. “Are you staying over?” he asks, tangling his fingers in Edward’s hair.

“I should probably get home.” He doesn’t make any attempts to leave. It’s warm and nice and he’s really dreading having to see Jonathan at the apartment. “I have work in the morning.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I had fun, though.”

“Yeah. Me too.” He clears his throat, detaching himself from Edward. “Will I be seeing you again, or are you not that kind of guy?”

“What kind of guy do you think I am?” he asks, sitting up and beginning to collect his clothes.

“The kind that doesn’t need to settle for some two bit demon because he could have anyone he wants.”

“Perhaps what I _want_ is a two bit demon. I seem to be seeing a lot of those nowadays,” he grumbles, more to himself than to Harvey. “It’s possible that you’ll see me again. It’s equally possible that you won’t.” He pulls his shirt over his head. “I wouldn’t want to give you false hope.”

“No, of course not.”

“But, if I’m ever in the market for something more… consistent, I’ll definitely take you into consideration.”

“How generous of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of these chapters are short little interludes im sorry i should try to write longer things


	11. Chapter 11

“Did you just get back?”

“Yes.” Edward drops his coat at the foot of the bed, loosening his tie.

“Were you working late?” Jonathan asks, skimming through one of Edward’s books. _Lord of the Rings_ —the big one with the whole series in one book. “I didn’t see you downstairs.”

“I was having sex with someone.” He regrets saying that as soon as the words leave his lips.

“Oh,” he says, turning a page in the book. “Did you… enjoy yourself?”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. I’m just trying to be civil.” He sets the book down, giving Edward his full attention. “What do you want me to say?”

Perhaps he wanted him to be a little more jealous. Or a little more uncomfortable. He certainly didn’t want him to be… civil. “You could ask me who I slept with.”

“Who did you sleep with?”

“A demon.”

“Ah. I see you have a type.”

Why couldn’t his type be something nice and normal and _human?_ “Everyone has a type.”

“I don’t.”

Edward rolls his eyes. “Of course you do. Everyone does.” He discards his tie, slipping out of his pants. “Did you get any work done today?”

“I left the folders on your desk. That girl isn’t a nymph, and the guy you asked me to look into is definitely dead. Staked five years ago behind an Applebee’s.”

“What a way to go.” He crawls into bed beside Jonathan, facing away from him. He should shower. And actually put on pajamas. But he’s tired and slightly sore and, frankly, he can’t be bothered to legitimately take care of himself.

Jonathan stiffens slightly—noticeably, but not dramatically. He picks up the book, holding it awkwardly above his lap. “I have a… meeting tomorrow, by the way. So I won’t be able to work until later in the day.”

“It’s Saturday tomorrow. I don’t work Saturdays,” Edward mumbles, shoving his face into his pillow. “You can do whatever you want.”

“Oh. I could still do fieldwork. If you want. It might make things easier for you when you go back to work.”

“Do whatever you want,” he repeats. “Cases are downstairs. Knock yourself out if you’re interested, but I don’t care what you do.”

“Okay.”

It occurs to Edward that he might have just been mean. He doesn’t want Jonathan to think that he’s a mean person. He could ask if Jonathan thought he was being mean, but then he would seem needy. And that’s definitely worse. So he says nothing.

“Are you going to sleep?” Jonathan asks after a few moments.

“Trying to,” he says pointedly. He wasn’t trying at all. He’s nowhere near falling asleep. Why did he say that? Shit, is he being mean again?

“Should I turn off the light?”

“You can keep it on if you’re going to read.”

“I can read in another room if you want the light off.”

“You can stay. I don’t mind.” There. That was nice.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Now stop talking, I’m trying to go to sleep.”

“Okay. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He nestles into the blankets, wrapping his arms around himself. “Goodnight,” he adds softly.

“Goodnight.”


	12. Chapter 12

Jonathan is gone by the time Edward wakes up. So he has the apartment to himself again.

Suddenly it feels very… empty.

He goes through his morning routine like he usually does. Shower, hair-care, skincare, clothes, breakfast, teeth. He cleans up a bit—he can’t tell if Jonathan is molting or if this is normal but there are feathers _everywhere_ —and then he goes back into the bedroom. And he realizes that he is… very bored.

He could do work for a case. That woman would probably be very appreciative if he tracked down her daughter a bit earlier than expected, but… Who is he kidding? He’s not going to do work today.

So he gets back into bed. Watches four episodes of Adam Ruins Everything. And then gets bored of that as well.

He should go out. Do something fun. If he brings a token he could probably take the byway and go do some supernatural impulse buying. Nothing eases boredom like spending an obscene amount of money on some fairy crafted trinket he has no use for. He rummages through his wallet and his desk for a while before realizing he probably used his last token when he went to Pandora’s Boxxx a few weeks ago—strictly for business purposes, of course.

Maybe his rogue-ish charm will be enough to secure his passage on the byway. Though, he’s only had limited success with that in the past.

Well. It’s worth a shot.


	13. Chapter 13

The tollbooth operator is less than impressed by Edward’s attempts to scam his way onto the road. “If you don’t have a token, you can’t access the byway,” they say dryly, resting their chin in their palm.

“Can’t you just make an exception?” he asks sweetly, trying to replicate that _thing_ Jonathan does that always gets him whatever he wants. “I think the fact that I even _know_ about the byway is evidence that it’d be alright to let me through just this once.”

“If you don’t have a token, you can’t access the byway,” they repeat. “And better creatures than you have tried to use compulsion on me. It’s not going to work.”

Damn. “I could owe you a favor. Or promise you my firstborn. Or my soul, if you prefer.”

“I don’t need favors, human children are a nuisance, and I have no use for your soul either.”

“What if I told you my ex boyfriend was a very high ranking demon?”

“I’ve heard it before.” The toll collector gestures to a group of girls sulking on a bench nearby. One of them is in a heated argument over the phone. “Unless your ex boyfriend has a token to lend you, I don’t care.”

Huh. It didn’t occur to him to just… ask if Jonathan had a spare token. He points threateningly at the toll collector as he retreats from their booth. “You haven’t seen the last of me,” he warns.

“Uh huh.”

Edward walks a few feet away from the booth. He takes his phone out of his pocket and dials the office number, hoping that by some miracle Jonathan is back at the apartment.

“Hello?”

Thank God. “I need a favor.”

“Oh. It’s you.”

Ouch. “Try to contain your excitement,” he says sarcastically.

“Oh, I will. What do you need?”

“A token. To get past the toll collector.”

“Are you trying to take the byway into the city?”

“Yes.” He hates how Jonathan just calls it ‘the city’. In his mind, ‘the city’ is New York City. So, naturally, he was very confused when Jonathan informed him all those years ago that he was going to ‘the city’ to pick up an ounce of dragon’s breath—which he was later informed is some sort of mystical drug.

But he’s getting off track.

“I don’t have any tokens,” Jonathan says, pulling Edward out of his reverie. “I have an ID card. My passage is complimentary.”

Goddamn demon and his damn demon privileges. “Do you think you could tell the toll collector to just let me through?”

Jonathan sighs heavily. “Fine. But I’m sort of in the middle of something so make it quick.”

Edward approaches the booth again, holding the phone out to the tollbooth operator. “He’d like to speak to you.”

“I’m sure he would.” They take the phone, holding it up to one of their various ears. “Yes? … He doesn’t have a token, so I can’t—I see… No, of course not.” They cast a disdainful glance at Edward, before saying: “I can only let him through this one time. After today, if he can’t pay he can’t pass… Yes… Yes, I understand… Yes sir.” They hand the phone back to Edward, scowling.

“Well?” Edward says into the receiver.

“You’re all set. Now try not to bother me until three, please.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“And you owe me,” Jonathan adds.

“I’m literally letting you stay with me and work for me out of the kindness of my heart. Are you sure you want to talk about who owes whom?”

“Fair point. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Thank you. Bye.” Edward gives the toll collector a smug look before making his way down the byway and passing through the thin veil separating him from a magical shopping spree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is so much longer than it deserves to be


	14. Chapter 14

Gotham City.

With different access points spread out around the country, Gotham serves as a convenient meeting place for every supernatural creature in the continental United States. No one really lives there—though there are hotels and apartments available to those who frequent the area—but it provides a safe place with resources available to creatures of every species imaginable.

It’s also just a fun place to go.

 Edward rarely ends up in Gotham by himself. Even when he passes through for a case, he always ends up in the company of a friend or two—he knows a lot of people who work in the area. But Nina and Diedre are on vacation together and Jonathan is busy for another half hour, so he’s on his own.

Which is fine. He can have fun on his own. It’s fine.

He tools around in a few different shops. Buys seeds to grow an herb he’s never heard of. A bottle of elven wine. Some books. He also buys something he thinks _might_ be a sex toy, but could easily be a torture device. Either way, he’s intrigued.

He ends up in a bar—nice place, demon owned. It was a place Jonathan introduced him to. But that was a long time ago.

Edward asks for a water—it _is_ the middle of the day after all—and claims a small booth near the wall. He takes one of the books he bought out of his shopping bag, reading the back cover again. It’s a sociological analysis of stratification of different demon races. It’ll be an interesting read, as long as he can find the time to actually sit down and get through it.

Well, there’s no time like the present.

He’s made it about halfway through the second chapter—and halfway through his glass of water—when someone slides into the booth with him.

“Try these,” Jonathan murmurs, pushing a paper bag in Edward’s direction. “I bought them after my meeting.”

Edward silently curses himself for being predictable enough to be followed. While he doesn’t appreciate Jonathan showing up unannounced all the time… well, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t welcome the company. He takes the bag. It bears the logo of a bakery in Manhattan. “I assumed your meeting would be somewhere less… human.”

“It was an ordinary gathering. There was no need to hold it anywhere more supernatural, or whatever you like to call it.”

“Hm.” He opens the bag, inspecting the contents. “Bread?”

“Rolls.”

First seeds and now bread. Jonathan needs to pick more interesting food options. He takes one of the rolls out of the bag, biting into it. It’s still warm, with a red bean filling in the center. It’s delicious, if a bit mundane. He finishes the roll. “So what brings you here?”

“Thought I might run into you.”

“I don’t think it counts as ‘running into’ me if you showed up specifically to see me.”

“Semantics,” he says, waving a hand dismissively. “What have you been up to all day?”

“Shopping.” He gestures to the bags at his feet. “Reading.”

“That’s all?”

“So far.”

“Let me show you something,” Jonathan proposes, perking up a little.

“Show me what?”

“Something fun. It’s a surprise.”

Edward wrinkles his nose. “I’m not a fan of surprises.”

“You’ll like this one,” he says, standing up and adjusting his jacket. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy's day out


	15. Chapter 15

“Several people have died in this house.”

“Mm. I can imagine.” Edward swipes his index finger over the top of a table, rubbing the dust residue off his fingers.

Jonathan brought him to the outskirts of the city to see the cliffside. He’s always loved the ocean here—glossy black water swirling hundreds of feet below them. Perched precariously at the cliff’s edge sits a mansion. Well, more of a castle really. It’s massive and old and beautiful with hundreds of rooms to explore. “Did anyone die in here?” he asks, indicating the study’s interior.

“Not in here, but the study upstairs has seen a death or two.” Jonathan lounges in a large stuffed armchair, his legs draped over the side. “And the downstairs kitchen. Master bedroom. The basement, of course. And—oh, how could I forget the tower? Tons of people have died up there.”

“How many people lived here?” He opens the desk drawers, only to find that most of them are empty save for a few sheets of paper or other writing materials.

“Quite a few. It was owned by some lord of something or other. Then it got converted into an orphanage for a short time. And then a coven of vampires took it over in the forties.”

“Nineteen forties?”

“Eighteen forties.”

“Ah.”

“It’s been abandoned since the nineteen tens,” he continues, “and there’s a protective spell meant to keep people out, so hardly anyone’s been in here since.”

“Then how were we able to get in?”

Jonathan grins. “I’m special, didn’t you know?”

“Forget I asked,” he mutters. “Can you take me up to the tower?”

He shrugs. “If you like.”

So several flights of stairs and a fair amount of complaining later they finally reach the tower—the highest point of the building. “Oh… wow,” Edward murmurs, going to the edge of the balcony and peering over the railing.

The tower overlooks a massive garden, complete with a hedge maze and a gilded fountain. It’s completely impractical and vaguely reminiscent of something out of an obnoxious British movie about some royal family nobody cares about, but it’s _gorgeous_ nonetheless. Edward lives for this sort of gaudy bullshit.

“Yeah, my friend Rachael pushed her sister’s abuser over the edge of this thing,” Jonathan says, following Edward’s gaze down to the ground. “His skull cracked open like an egg,” he says fondly.

“Sounds like she was a great sister.”

“Yeah… It’s a shame Rachael ended up killing and feeding on her. But that’s just how things go sometimes.”

So they’re a dysfunctional family. “Nobody’s perfect.”

“I guess not.” He clears his throat quietly, straightening up. “So, is this… are you having a good time?” he asks tentatively, staring out at the garden.

“Of course,” Edward says. “You know I love old, abandoned rich people’s houses. And I never knew this was here.” And it’s always fun to snoop through people’s things with no ramifications. But he won’t say that out loud, because then he’d look like a hypocrite for telling Jonathan not to look through _his_ stuff.

“I can bring you back sometime if you like.”

Wait. Did Edward just get tricked into going on a date with him? He’s not… completely repulsed by the idea. After all, Jonathan has been really… kind to him lately. He always has been, even when Edward acts like he doesn’t like him.

But he doesn’t want to just grant Jonathan the power to stomp on his heart all over again so soon after his return. He doesn’t know if he could handle something like that again. Besides, getting back together with him so soon would just make him seem really desperate. “Oh, um—”

“I can just drop you off if you’d prefer to look around yourself. It’s just that you sort of… can’t get in without me to counteract the barrier, so—”

Oh, thank God. Now he doesn’t have to worry about it one way or the other. “Yeah, that’d be really nice,” he murmurs. “Thanks, Jonathan.”

“Sure. Is there anything else you want to see before we go?”

“We should go down into the garden,” he says, heading towards the stairs. “I’m going to solve that hedge maze if it kills me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me a ridiculously long time to figure out where i wanted this chapter to go and here we are


	16. Chapter 16

So maybe Edward got a little distracted. And maybe he didn’t exercise the most self control. But it’s been a long day and he’s had a really stressful week and who can blame him for wanting to blow off steam by making out with his demon ex boyfriend in the middle of an abandoned hedge maze? He’s only human after all.

“Should I stop?” Jonathan murmurs, his lips grazing Edward’s throat.

“No,” he says a little too quickly. “I don’t know.” He tightens his grip on the back of Jonathan’s shirt, trying not to feel horribly ashamed of himself. “What time is it?”

“I have no idea.”

Edward groans. “You’re useless.” He climbs out of Jonathan’s lap, digging his phone out of his pocket. Four fifty-three. “It’s getting sort of late. We should probably just finish the maze and head home.”

“It’d be faster to go back the way we came.”

“No,” he says firmly. “I am _going_ to _finish_ the maze.”

“…Okay.”

____

After completing the maze—which actually wasn’t all that complicated—they stopped at a restaurant to pick up dinner, and then took the byway back to the real world.

And then they made out some more in the back of the Uber they took to the apartment. It was not one of Edward’s proudest moments.

He doesn’t know why he can’t just… control himself. He doesn’t need Jonathan and he shouldn’t want him. Jonathan shouldn’t be able to just waltz back into his life like the last five years didn’t happen, be a halfway decent person, and have Edward fall at his feet just like that. It shouldn’t work like that.

Why does Edward always let him do this?

“You got a ton of calls, by the way,” Jonathan says, holding the front door open so Edward can enter the apartment. “A lot of missing people. And an update on the changeling kid. I wrote everything down.”

“Weren’t you out of the apartment all day?” Edward asks, setting his shopping bags down by the couch.

“Not all day. I stopped by to listen to the messages left on the office phone and then you called me to beg for tokens, so I was here for half an hour or so.”

He scowls. “I don’t beg.”

“I seem to have a very specific memory of a very specific evening that says otherwise,” he says, taking the food into the kitchen.

“Oh, shut up,” he grumbles. He sits heavily on the couch, taking a roll out of one of the bags. It’s not warm anymore but it still tastes pretty good.

“You’ll ruin your appetite.”

“Mind your own business,” he mutters, taking a pointedly large bite of the bread.

Jonathan sighs, unpacking the white takeout boxes. “So is this how it’s going to be all the time?” he asks quietly.

“What are you talking about?”

He pauses, looking down at the kitchen counter. “You have these moments where you’re so nice to me,” he murmurs, sounding almost…mournful. “And it almost makes me think that you could love me again. But it never lasts. And you get upset with me all over again and I don’t know why and—I don’t know where I stand with you.”

Oh God. He really has been acting like a piece of shit.

“I just wish you would be honest with me,” he continues, resuming his unpacking. “I don’t need you to placate me or… whatever it is you’re doing. Just tell me what you want.”

It’s beginning to seem like he doesn’t know what he wants. “I’m sorry for always being so rude to you,” he says, avoiding the core issue.

“It’s fine.”

“Do you really want me to be honest?”

Jonathan nods, turning to fully face Edward.

He takes a deep breath, trying to steady his pulse. “I will never forgive myself for letting you hurt me like that,” he says, each word landing heavily between them. “And I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”

“Oh.” His voice is uncharacteristically soft.

“I don’t feel like I can trust you anymore.”

“That’s fair.”

“I think… I don’t think I can handle a relationship with you,” he says slowly. “Not yet. Maybe not ever. But I’ll try to be nicer. And maybe I’ll let you kiss me sometimes.”

“Lucky me.”

“But I need time,” he says, choosing to ignore the sarcastic remark. “Is that okay?”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they're talking now are u happy


	17. Chapter 17

“How long ago did she go missing?”

“Almost three years now.” The girl passes Edward a photo of her friend. “I’ve been to the police, but they didn’t do anything. And I tried another PI but he didn’t have any luck. I was almost about to give up, but… people say you’re the best.”

“I’m a specialist,” Edward says, inspecting the photo. She’s a creepy looking girl, with stringy black hair and bug eyes. “Is she human?”

“She’s mixed. I think she’s got a bit of demon on her mom’s side.”

Makes sense. “And did you notice anything before her disappearance? Any strange behavior, different social activity, anything like that?”

“Um… Yeah, actually,” she says, seemingly struggling to remember. “She was hanging around this guy and his friends—a bunch of college kids, I think.”

That’s interesting. “Can you describe this guy?” he asks, preparing to take notes.

“He seemed like a real loser, y’know the kind of guy that’s a dick just for the fun of it?” She shrugs. “But, he always acted like she was special. And I think she liked to hear that.”

“I see,” he murmurs. “Do you remember what he looked like? Hair color, skin color, any distinctive features?”

“Oh, yeah, he was a really weird looking guy. Long nose, weird chin, _super_ pale—I think his hair was weird too but I don’t remember.”

He writes down the details she provided, closing his notebook. “Perfect.” He flashes her his patented reassuring smile. “Thank you so much for all the information. I’ll have her back in no time. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens


	18. Chapter 18

Idiot.

“You’re beautiful,” Jonathan murmurs, pressing a kiss to the hollow of Edward’s hip.

Stupid piece of shit.

“Did you go out earlier?” he asks, brushing his thumb across a very incriminating mark on the inside of his thigh.

“It’s from yesterday,” Edward mumbles. Why can’t he ever exercise some goddamn self restraint?

“Ah. Anyone interesting?”

Edward shouldn’t talk to him about the other guys he’s sleeping with. “A human. He had nice hair.” But of course he can’t keep his stupid mouth shut.

“Mm.”

“Couldn’t get me off though,” he says, sitting up and twisting around to crack his back. “I decided to just fake it—to save time, y’know?” Stop talking.

“…Right.”

Idiot. He shouldn’t have said any of that. “So,” he says a little too loudly, laying back down to rest his head on the pillows. “What have you been up to all day?”

“Bit of this, bit of that.” Jonathan shrugs, contorting himself into what Edward thinks is a seated position. “Did some investigating for you. Went to the doctor. Bought a—”

“Did you say you went to a doctor?” Edward asks, automatically growing anxious.

“I did.”

“Why? Is something wrong? I didn’t know you even needed to go to the doctor. Do demon doctors exist? What happened?”

“For a checkup, nothing is wrong, I do sometimes, only a few, nothing happened I’m perfectly fine,” he says, rattling off answers to each of Edward’s questions without missing a beat. “Since when do you worry about me?”

“I’ve always worried about you.” He shouldn’t have said that either.

“Oh.”

“Checkup about what?” Edward asks, trying to steer the conversation away from the objects of his anxiety.

“Are checkups about anything?”

“They can be.”

“It was just… I sustained an injury a while ago. I wanted to make sure everything was healing properly. That’s all.” He plucks a stray feather out of his otherwise human shoulder, watching it float down to the mattress. Sometimes he loses focus and starts to get all avian again. It’s only sort of terrifying. “Don’t freak out.”

“What injury?”

“You’ve seen it. On my back.”

“On your—” Oh. The wings. “Are you ever going to tell me how that happened?”

“Maybe. It’s not… It’s not a story I like to tell.” He chews on the edge of his fingernail. “It makes me look bad.”

“Ah.” Perhaps it’s an issue of status? He has a vague memory of Jonathan explaining to him what different wing sizes and colors and amounts mean in demon society, but it was boring so he wasn’t really listening. Maybe the book he bought has some information on the subject.

“What about you? How’s your day been?”

“Long and tiring.” He sighs heavily, draping a hand over his eyes. “I was sitting on top of a building in the rain for _an hour_ trying to follow a stupid lead.”

“It wasn’t raining today.”

“It was drizzling,” he snaps. “And I didn’t even get anything good! Just some blurry pictures of a guy in a hat who may or may not have been the guy I’m trying to investigate.” He groans, rolling over onto his side. “The whole day was a waste.”

“I’m sorry.” Jonathan reaches out to squeeze his calf slightly before getting off the bed. “I have to go.”

“Go? Go where?”

“Out. A business thing.”

“You don’t have a business,” Edward says suspiciously.

“You know what I mean. It’s work.”

“You don’t have a job either. And, no, the work you do for me doesn’t count.”

“Edward—”

“Okay, okay,” he says, putting his hands up in surrender. “Go do whatever illicit activity you’re so desperately trying to hide from me. See if I care.”

“I’m not stupid so I can tell that you care, and I can also tell you’re going to lie in bed and theorize about where I am until I get back, and that you will get progressively more angry with me for not telling you until you finally explode and start yelling at me the second I walk into the apartment, but I’m already running late so I’m not going to try to pacify you right now.” He gathers his clothes from the foot of the bed, disappearing into the bathroom. “I’ll pick up something to make you feel better, okay?” he calls.

“I wasn’t going to do any of that,” he grumbles, knowing full well that he absolutely _was_ going to do all of those things. “Get me something sweet. I’m having a craving.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”


	19. Chapter 19

“How does Will Graham do it?” Edward asks sadly, stretching out on Nina’s couch. “He looks around a little bit, does some visualizations, and just like that he knows exactly what he’s looking for and everything gets wrapped up in a neat forty minute episode. Why can’t _I_ do that?”

“Because you’re not in a TV show,” Nina says, setting a coffee cup down in front of him. “You don’t have a team of writers to put the solution to your cases right in the palm of your hand, so you have to do things the hard way. Like _real_ people do.”

“Well, it sucks,” he grumbles. He keeps his eyes fixed on the television, watching Hannibal whip up another one of his beautiful cannibal dishes. Maybe Jonathan’s been tricking him into eating humans this whole time and that’s why he insists on feeding him so often. “Every lead I follow takes me _nowhere._ Whoever this guy is, he’s good at covering his tracks.”

“So you think it’s one guy after all?”

“Two is a coincidence, three is a pattern.” He reaches into his bag, producing a manila folder and holding it out to her. “This came in yesterday. A boy, pyrokinetic. Met a guy while he was at college, disappeared a week later.”

“The other two were girls, weren’t they?” she asks, taking the folder and flipping through.

“It doesn’t matter. The MO is the same, and it sounds like all three clients are describing the same perpetrator. Something interesting, though…” Edward sits up, pausing the episode. “Two of the three victims had special abilities. And it sounded like the suspect was just a little too interested in these abilities. What does that tell you?”

“Sounds like he’s exploiting them somehow. Maybe as weapons? Or to study?”

“It would appear that way. _But_ the third girl—the most recent missing person—was perfectly normal. Completely human, no special talents or intelligence or anything like that. Just a regular college girl.”

“And you’re trying to figure out what the link is,” she says, sitting down beside him. “Location?”

“All over the place. One in Jersey, one in Ohio, one here in New York.”

“Ohio? Why are you handling a case for someone in Ohio.”

“The victim goes to school in Queens. Apparently he was taking a trip to Ohio to see a long distance girlfriend, but he never came back. His friend—my client—didn’t think to report him missing until a week ago.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “Apparently, he went through all the proper channels to drop out of school, quit his job, tie up any loose ends. It didn’t seem like he was missing.”

“His family didn’t think to report it?”

“He doesn’t have any family. He’s got… one distant uncle that lives in Ontario, but he didn’t really have reason for concern.”

“Weird.”

“Yeah… it is.” Edward sighs, un-pausing the television. “But I’m boring you.”

“Only a little.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Nina pokes him in the shoulder. “What’s up with your love life?”

“I would need to have one for something to be up with it,” he says dryly, leaning over to rest his head on the arm of the sofa.

“Oh, come on,” she presses, “you can’t tell me you’re not sleeping with anyone.”

“Sleeping with people is not at all related to my love life—or lack thereof.”

“Tomato, tomahto.” She takes her phone out, beginning to scroll through Twitter. “Are you still torn up about that guy?”

“‘That guy’. Do you mean the only man I have ever loved who crushed my heart into a million pieces?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I’ve been… God, you’re going to think I’m a disaster,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. He returns his gaze to the TV, not wanting to look at Nina and see her judging him.

“I already _know_ you’re a disaster.”

“I’ve been hooking up with him,” he blurts out as the camera pans to reveal a gruesome yet somehow artistic murder.

“…You’re kidding.”

He shakes his head.

“Eddie. Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“Maybe a little,” he says sheepishly, covering his face with his hands. “It’s just—Well, he’s available and he gets me gifts and says I’m beautiful and… I don’t have to teach him how to touch me and that’s _nice_ , Nina.”

She lets out an exasperated groan, tossing her phone aside. “You’re so dumb,” she snaps, taking one of the pillows out from behind her back to hit Edward with it. “You’re so desperate for instant gratification and it makes you do dumb shit like this.”

“Don’t call me dumb.”

“He’s not good for you!” she continues. “Do you remember how upset you were when he disappeared?”

All too well. “You don’t have to say I’m dumb.”

“That’s not the point. Why would you willingly put yourself in a position for him to do that to you again?”

“Because it feels _good!_ ” Edward gets up from the couch, beginning to pace around the room. “It feels good to have someone to come home to—someone who listens to me and knows me and doesn’t call me dumb when they’re mad at me. It feels good to have things go back to normal. And I don’t think I could ever… have that without him.” He feels like he’s being very loud—is he shouting? His hands are trembling. What if Nina shouts at him in return? If she yells at him he might start crying and that would be a nightmare. His throat feels tight. 

“If you want things to be normal, then shack up with some nice, average accountant or something. Let him know you, and care about you, and whatever other rom-com crap you’re lusting after.” She gives Edward a stern look, crossing her arms. “But you don’t need to go crawling back to the same shitty guys who barely gave you the time of day five years ago.”

Oh. That… that hurt. “I think I’m going to leave,” he says stiffly. “I’m sorry for starting an argument. Thank you for the coffee, and for listening to me talk about the case.” He clears his throat quietly, gathering his things from the coffee table and putting them into his bag. “I am going home now.”

“Ed—”

“I’ll call you later. When I’m not feeling so… sad. Give Diedre my regards.”

“…Okay.”


	20. Chapter 20

“Taste,” Jonathan instructs, offering Edward a spoonful of some sort of sauce.

He brings the spoon to his lips, hesitantly allowing the liquid to drain into his mouth. Of course it’s delicious—everything Jonathan prepares is. He passes the spoon back. “It’s good.”

“Do you think it needs anything?”

Edward shrugs, hopping up to sit atop the counter. “Garlic?”

Jonathan nods, returning his attention to the various pans and bowls in front of him.

“What are you making?”

“Lamb. I saw it on the Food Network.”

“Is that what you do when I’m away? Watch cooking shows?”

“Sometimes. I’m also partial to nature documentaries. I like to watch the ones about birds.”

“Do you feel a sense of camaraderie with the birds?” Edward asks, allowing himself a small smile.

“Perhaps. Gives me something to… relate to. In your world.” He adds garlic powder to the sauce, stirring it for a few seconds before moving on to tend to the lamb cooking in a pan.

Edward watches him cook, fairly impressed by his ability to do so based solely on a tutorial he watched hours ago. “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?”

“I don’t know. Shrimp?”

“Shrimp is very normal.”

“Oh, you meant weird to _you_.” He shrugs, pushing the meat around with a spatula. “Do you know what a leviathan is?”

“The sea monster? Those are real?”

“Very rare. Their scales are quite valuable so most of them have been poached. They’re a very old breed of creatures, nearing extinction I think.”

“And you’ve eaten that?”

“Just a taste. It was being served at a dinner party I attended a long time ago.” He turns the stove off. “Will you get plates?”

“Sure.” He gives up his seat on the counter, going over to the cabinets to retrieve plates. “What did it taste like?”

“It was good. Sort of… bittersweet.”


	21. Chapter 21

_I love you_.

“Is this alright?” Jonathan murmurs, his breath hot against Edward’s ear.

_God, I love you._

“Edward?”

Edward nods wordlessly, his fingernails digging into Jonathan’s back. “Please,” he mumbles, biting back a gasp as his lover’s mouth latches onto his throat, hands grasping at his thighs.

He wants so badly to tell Jonathan that he loves him again. Wants so badly to feel his name on his lips, to feel what it’s like to be laid bare before this creature who stripped everything away from him. He wants it more than anything.

_I love you._

But he knows he’s being irrational, ruled by some fleeting emotion. He knows he’s being stupid. So he doesn’t say anything. Swallows every profession of love, every plea, every sound that threatens to pass his lips and divulge something he isn’t ready to put on display.

He lets Jonathan’s hands roam the expanse of his body, pausing every so often to ask once again if Edward is enjoying himself. And he is. It’s just… difficult to let Jonathan know that.

And then it’s over.

“Good?” Jonathan asks softly, pressing a quick kiss to a large mark forming just above Edward’s clavicle.

“Good,” he affirms, taking a few moments to catch his breath before moving again. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He sits up, rolling his shoulders back a few times. “I’m going to get some water. Do you want anything while I’m up?”

“No, I’m alright.”

“Okay.” He climbs out of bed, dressing before heading into the kitchen.

Edward rolls over onto his side, fighting the urge to cry. He chokes back a sob, burying his face in the pillow. He felt so good a few moments ago. He always feels good, but… it never lasts.

 Why does he always feel so awful afterwards?


	22. Chapter 22

Edward rolls over onto his stomach, looking over at Jonathan’s sleeping form in the dim light. He’s slipping in and out of his human shape, almost as if his skin is merely projected over his body. He always tries to maintain a humanoid form for Edward’s sake, but often loses control of his appearance when asleep. He also argues that it’s uncomfortable to sleep in his human skin and he doesn’t understand why anyone would want to.

His gaze falls on the two raised bumps where Jonathan’s wings had once been. One of them is covered in black, downy feathers, spreading up his back to his shoulder. The other just has discolored skin stretched over it. It always makes him… sad. To look at them. Edward used to love his wings. They made him seem more like an angel than a demon.

Jonathan stirs, shaking Edward from his train of thought. The patches of feathers that had slowly revealed themselves while he slept vanish, replaced by skin that is just slightly too pale. “You’re staring,” he mumbles into the pillow. “Is something wrong?”

“No. I was just thinking.”

“Mm.”

“Will you tell me about these?” Edward murmurs, tracing the outlines of the wounds on Jonathan’s back. “You said you would.”

“I said maybe.” Jonathan shifts slightly, shrugging Edward’s hand away. “Why do you want to know so badly?”

“I’m curious. I like to know things.” He presses a soft kiss to Jonathan’s shoulder blade. “Will you tell me?” he asks again.

Jonathan sighs. Rolls over onto his side. “I stole something. That was the punishment. And that’s all you need to know.”

“Your wings were cut off because you _stole_ something?” Edward asks incredulously.

“It was very valuable,” he says, as if that makes it make sense.

“What did you steal?”

“An asset. It doesn’t matter. I stole from a high level demon, I had my wings removed and my rank lowered as penance.”

“Is that really the whole story?” he asks.

“That’s the whole story.” He looks over his shoulder at Edward. “But I take it you’re not satisfied with that.”

“No. I’m not.”


	23. Chapter 23

“Remind me how you came across these again?”

“Not me,” Nina admits, shoving her hands into her pockets. “I asked Diedre to swing by the police station and… acquire them.”

“Ah. So they’re stolen.” Edward shuffles through the stack of files Nina had dropped on his desk. About seven more missing persons cases from the past five years, all with the same mode of operations as the cases he’s investigating.

“Technically she just asked for them. You know how demons do that thing?”

“Compulsion.” He has tried to convince Jonathan on multiple occasions to teach him how to do it, but he always says it’s impossible for humans. Well, he can dream.

“Right.” She bites the inside of her cheek. “So… Are we good?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like… You’re done being mad at me, right? Since I did you a favor?”

“Oh.” Edward doesn’t know if he’s done being mad at Nina. He thought he was, but now… Maybe he’s a little mad that she expects him to just stop being mad because she did him a favor—which she didn’t even do herself. “Um… Sure,” he says stiffly.

“Cool,” she says, seemingly relieved.

Is he mad? He shouldn’t be mad. But he’s _allowed_ to be mad, why is she acting like he isn’t? _Is_ she acting like that? Maybe she just doesn’t want her friend to be mad at her anymore. That makes sense, that’s normal. Why can’t he be normal? “Cool,” he repeats, turning his attention back to the files.

“So, um, do you want to get lunch or something? I’m free right now.”

He could blow her off. Schedule something with Jonathan. Or Harvey, or Oswald, or literally anyone else. But that would be rude. They are friends after all, he can just get lunch with her. Maybe if they spend some time together he’ll be less mad at her.

“Edward?” she asks, nudging him slightly. “Are you listening?”

“I should probably get started on these,” he says, gesturing to the stack. “Sorry.” Why did he say that? Didn’t he _just_ decide he was going to get lunch with her? “Maybe we could… order something. And hang out here so I can get some work done.” There. That’s better. He’s being a good friend. He’s trying. That’s something, right?

“Oh, okay. Do you still have that pile of old takeout menus?”

“In the kitchen. Top drawer, far right.” He’s trying. That’s what matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fighting with friends is weird


	24. Chapter 24

Edward chews the tip of his thumb, pacing back and forth in front of his Evidence Wall.

The Evidence Wall consists of one (1) empty wall in the living room, one (1) large corkboard, every piece of evidence or information he could scrape together about this case, and five (5) yards of red string—the string is just for dramatic effect. He likes to set it up sometimes when he’s really stuck on a case. Makes him feel like a TV detective that can solve any case, no matter how convoluted.

But it doesn’t seem to be helping. And he wasted an hour setting this whole thing up for nothing.

He groans, running his fingers through his hair. “It’s like this guy doesn’t even exist!” he mutters to himself. “No records, no contact information, there aren’t even any photos of him. And I don’t know what he wants with them so I can’t figure out where he’s taking them. All I have to go on is the testimony of a bunch of teenagers and parents.” He collapses onto the couch, glaring at the Evidence Wall. “Why can’t this be as easy as figuring out if someone’s spouse is being unfaithful?”

A series of thumps can be heard coming from the bedroom, accompanied by some shuffling. Then the bedroom door swings open and Jonathan appears in the doorway. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“No,” Edward lies. “Was that you making all that noise?”

“It wasn’t that much noise.”

“How did you even get in the bedroom? I’ve been in here for hours, I didn’t see you come in.”

“I just got back,” he says, crossing the room to peer at Edward’s Evidence Wall. “I hope you don’t mind, I used the window.”

“…Of course you did.” He doesn’t bother asking why. Frankly, at this point he can’t be bothered to care why Jonathan does the things he does.

“What’s this?” Jonathan asks, gesturing to the collage of police reports and photos.

“Working on a case. All those missing people.”

“Hm.” He stares intently at a photograph of one of the victims—the perfectly ordinary college girl. “And this girl is one of the missing people?” he asks, tapping the picture.

“Yeah. Harleen something-or-other, disappeared after spending some time with a shady young man—the suspect, of course.”

“Oh.” His gaze shifts to each of the photos, some unidentifiable emotion crossing his face. “What do you know about the suspect?”

“Just a vague physical description. White male, big chin, a couple people have said he has a weird mouth.” He shrugs. “Not a lot to go on.”

“Uh-huh.” Jonathan bites the corner of his lip, still keeping his eyes fixed on the board.

Edward leans forward, trying to get a better look at Jonathan’s face. Trying to read him. “Is there something you’d like to say?”

Jonathan takes a long pause. Finally, he takes a deep breath and says, “Don’t get mad.”

Well. _That_ can’t be good.


	25. Chapter 25

“You did _what?_ ” Edward screeches, practically leaping off the sofa.

“I told you not to get mad!”

“No, stop, shut up,” he says, waving a hand to silence Jonathan. “I’m going to repeat what I just heard, and you’re going to tell me if I’m correct.  Okay?”

“Edward—”

“What I _heard_ ,” Edward begins, not allowing Jonathan to speak, “is that you know the guy who kidnapped these people, but you don’t like him, so you kidnapped them _from_ him, and now have them all hiding out in another dimension. And you neglected to tell me that _this whole time._ ”

“I didn’t really kidnap them,” Jonathan says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “And I didn’t think it was relevant information until now.”

“What would you call it, if not kidnapping?”

“…Legally speaking, it’s more like stealing.”

He groans, rubbing his forehead with his index finger and thumb. “You can’t _steal_ people! That’s what _kidnapping_ is!”

“Well, in demon law you can.” He notices how exasperated Edward is and quickly moves on. “But that’s not the point, the point is—He was using them, Edward. I couldn’t just let that happen.”

“Using them for what?”

Jonathan sighs, sitting down on the arm of the sofa. “There were five of them with abilities. Either they weren’t human, or they were magically inclined, or something like that. He was trying to weaponize them. He put them through a mixture of training and torture to try and… maximize their capabilities.” He swallows, lowering his eyes. “Most of them were just kids,” he murmurs.

So Edward was right that he wanted to exploit them. “There were ten victims. What about the other five?”

“There was… the blonde girl. He liked her. Treated her like shit, but he liked her. And then… he killed three of them. Because they weren’t obedient enough, or weren’t strong enough. And the last one… I don’t remember.”

“Okay,” he says, trying to wrap his mind around this whole clusterfuck. “So… They’re safe now?”

“They’re safe,” Jonathan affirms, folding his hands in his lap. “I can take you to them. If you like.”

“Um, yeah, you _have_ to take me to them. I’m literally getting paid to find them.”

“Oh. Right.” He clears his throat quietly, looking more than a little ashamed. “I was just trying to do the right thing,” he says softly. He lifts his gaze to look at Edward. “Sorry.”

Edward doesn’t know what to make of this. At all. And now he has to go on with his day knowing this information.

Jonathan never ceases to surprise him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he's like robin hood but for people instead of money


	26. Chapter 26

“Now is not the time to stop for baked goods,” Edward grumbles as Jonathan leads him to the front door of a bakery.

“I’m not taking you here to buy bread. We have to go in the back.” Jonathan pulls the door open, allowing Edward to enter the building. “We can get muffins on the way home though.”

“How are you thinking about muffins at a time like this?”

He shrugs. “I’m hungry.” He approaches the bakery counter, smiling politely at the woman behind the counter. “Hello,” he says warmly. “I have a… storage unit here.”

The woman nods knowingly, wiping her hands on her apron. “Do you have an ID card?”

“I do.” Jonathan retrieves a glossy black card from his pocket, sliding it across the counter. It’s made of an unidentifiable material that may or may not be metal and, as far as Edward can tell, there’s nothing written on it.

She inspects the card before handing it back to Jonathan. “You’re all set. Just swipe that on the door and you’re free to access your unit.”

“Thank you.” He places a hand on the small of Edward’s back, steering him toward a small door in the back of the room. He swipes the card in a slot beside the doorknob, much like you would a hotel key, before hearing a faint click and opening the door.

And then they’re in a house.

It’s a nice house. Spacious, lots of windows, sort of a classic feel to it. It looks lived in and brand new all at the same time. It’s the kind of house he wishes he could’ve lived in.

“How do you… have this?” Edward asks, still struggling to take in his surroundings.

“It’s sort of like… having a locker. But it exists in a sort of liminal space and can only be accessed and utilized by me.”

“But it’s a house.”

“I thought it would be more functional in this form.” He taps the wall with a fingernail as if to draw attention to the ‘form’. “When I was using it more casually it just existed as a shapeless void for me to throw my shit into. But people need to live here. So I thought a home would be more appropriate.”

“And so everyone you kidnapped is—” Edward cuts himself off, hearing footsteps coming down the hall.

“Is that Jonathan I hear?” a high pitched voice with a thick Jersey accent calls, followed by the appearance of a short, blonde girl. The girl from the case. Perfectly intact and seemingly… happy. “Did you bring me a deep dish like I asked?”

“I forgot,” he says apologetically. “But I bought my… Edward.”

“Oh!” she says brightly. “Is this your boyfriend?”

“…No.”

“Oh. But I thought you said—”

“You know, sometimes I just say things and those things are irrelevant,” Jonathan says quickly. “Maybe we should all sit down and… talk,” he suggests.

“Is something wrong?” she asks, a hint of worry in her voice.

“It’s complicated.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also in case u didn't see this over on my tumblr i might be slow with updates this week bc i'm stage managing a show and we open on thursday so i'm super busy


	27. Chapter 27

“Where are the others?” Jonathan asks, standing awkwardly behind the chair Edward is sitting in.

“Ace is here, but everyone else went out. There’s some indie trash concert going on.” The blonde girl—who apparently prefers Harley to Harleen—sets a cup of tea down in front of Edward. “Do you want me to go upstairs and get her?”

“No, that’s alright. I’ll go talk to her,” Jonathan says. He seems eager to leave the room and escape the conversation that is about to take place. “Why don’t you and Eddie—” Edward only becomes ‘Eddie’ when Jonathan is about to piss him off “—have a nice little… discussion, and I’ll be right back after I talk to Ace.” He pats Edward on the shoulder, promptly disappearing down the hall.

Great. Edward _loves_ being left alone with strangers who his boyfriend— _ex_ boyfriend—kidnapped. So fun.

“So,” Harley says, sitting down across from him at the dining room table. “How do you know Jonathan?”

“We… used to date,” he says carefully. “A long time ago.”

“Ohhh, I see. Yeah, he told me about you.”

“Oh?” He tries not to sound _too_ interested.

“He said you talk a lot. And that you take everything really seriously.”

While both statements are true, neither is a compliment.

“He also said that you get mad at him a lot, and he thinks you don’t like him anymore—but he didn’t say you broke up,” she says, pulling her feet up onto the chair. “Was that super recent or something?”

“Well, technically we never officially broke up. He just disappeared for five years and I figured… well, I just assumed he wasn’t coming back.” Edward clears his throat, taking a sip of his tea to stop himself from saying anything else.

Harley nods knowingly. “Yeah, he does that. One time I didn’t see him for two months and then he showed up at the front door with a bag of bagels like nothing had happened.”

It’s like he thinks feeding people can absolve any offense. “I don’t think he’s got a good grasp on the concept of time.”

“Yeah, clearly.”

“So,” he begins, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction without Harley getting defensive. “Is he… taking good care of you guys?”

“Oh, totally,” she says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, he pretty much gets us anything we want and we never have to worry about money or anything.”

“But don’t you miss your parents?”

She pauses, her gaze drifting to the window. “I mean… Of course I do, y’know?” she says softly. “The others… most of them don’t have good home lives, so I think this is… this is definitely better for them, but… Yeah. I miss my parents.”

“Then why don’t you go home?” he murmurs.

“Okay, so, y’know how Jonathan can do that thing where he always knows where you are?”

Edward didn’t know that, but it certainly makes a lot of things make sense. He takes another sip of his tea. “Yes.”

“Imagine that, but he’s also a psycho and he always treats you like shit and uses his freaky demon mind control to keep you from leaving him.” Harley wraps her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees. “That’s what’s waiting for me if I leave this place. Or he could just straight up kill me. One way or another, the second I go back to the real world, it’s all over for me.”

“You could at least call them.”

She shakes her head slowly. “I don’t know what I’d say. I can’t tell them where I am, or what’s going on. I think it’d just… freak them out more.”

“Your mother is worried sick about you.”

That makes her look up, her posture straightening slightly. “You’ve talked to my mom?”

“She hired me to find you.”

“Oh. Are you like a detective or something?”

“Sort of.” He shrugs. “I’m a specialist.”

“Specializing in what?”

“Weird shit.”

“Nice.”

“Listen,” Edward says, leaning forward a little. “I can’t force you to go home, or talk to your parents. But I do have to tell them that you’re alive and well. So I’m going to need a picture of you with something current for proof, and… I think it would be helpful if you could call them. Or write something for me to give to them.”

“Can I ask you something?” she says abruptly, apparently not going to address anything Edward said.

“I suppose.”

“Is your job on the line? Like, if I don’t do this, what’s at stake for you?”

“…Money, mostly,” he says honestly. “My reputation. I mean, there’s two other people here that I’m supposed to bring back to their friends or families, and if I can’t get them or you to work with me here, then I’m kind of shit out of luck.”

“Who are the others?”

“Hayden and Scott.”

“Scott is out with the others and… I don’t know who Hayden is.”

Edward reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket, producing a photograph of the demon girl with her lifeless black hair and her wide eyes. “This one.”

She takes the photo, something like recognition crossing her face. “Oh. You’re looking for Ace.”

“Can I speak to her?” he asks, remembering that she’s one of the ones who stayed in the house.

“I mean, you can try but she only really talks to Jonathan.” Harley shrugs. “She’s upstairs in her room.”

“Okay.” He stands up, pushing his chair in as he does.

“Just—Be nice to her, alright? She’s sort of sensitive.”

Edward nods. “I’ll make sure to be the perfect gentleman.”


	28. Chapter 28

Edward makes his way upstairs, coming to a halt outside of one of the bedrooms. Each room has a sign bearing the names of its residents, and this bedroom is the only one with a single occupant.

Ace.

The door is slightly ajar, and the faint sound of Jonathan’s voice can be heard coming from within. He peeks inside. Jonathan is sitting on the floor beside a girl who can’t be older than fourteen. He says something to her. Waits. When she doesn’t respond he keeps talking, giving her a chance to speak in between each utterance.

Edward cranes his neck to get a better look, bumping his shoulder against the door in the process. It swings open with a creek, alerting the others to his presence. The girl looks up first, almost imperceptibly fast, and he finds himself… afraid. Something about her eyes. He clears his throat, turning his focus to Jonathan. “Sorry,” he says. “Didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

“It’s alright,” Jonathan murmurs. “Are you here for me or for her?”

“Both of you, I suppose. I’m just here to observe.” He takes a step into the room, keeping close to the wall. “Is that okay?”

Jonathan looks back at Ace, tilting his head slightly as if asking a silent question. Ace does nothing in response. “It’s fine,” he says after a few moments. “Come sit down.”

He does, choosing to sit on the edge of the bed behind Jonathan. “What were you… talking about?”

“Just… this and that.” He shrugs. “I’m trying to help her hone her telepathy.”

Oh. That makes everything a lot clearer. “Are all demons telepathic?”

“Only some races, and it’s a recessive trait so it’s not very common.”

Now to ask a question he’s not sure he wants to know the answer to. “Are _you_ telepathic?”

Jonathan turns to flash a devilish grin at Edward. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

God, he hates Jonathan sometimes.

He hears a soft chuckle and looks up to see Ace laughing at him. Or at both of them. He can’t really tell.

“Do you know what her family situation is?” he asks quietly, leaning down to speak directly to Jonathan.

“You know you can talk to her, right?”

“Harley said she only talks to you.”

“Well, you might need me to be the middle man, but that doesn’t mean you can’t address her directly.”

“Oh. Okay.” So he turns to Ace, meeting her gaze for the first time since entering the room. “Could you… tell me a little bit about your family?” he asks hesitantly, not quite sure how this whole thing is going to work out.

She doesn’t speak. Doesn’t project anything into his mind. But somehow he knows. He feels the weight of loss, and guilt. Of shame. He takes all of it in, and he knows she has no one.

And he knows what that’s like.

“What about your friends?” he murmurs.

_Jonathan?_

Oh. That’s weird. He’s never had… someone else’s voice in his head before. “I mean outside of this place. Back home.”

_No home. No friends._

“A girl came to see me, to hire me to track you down. She was worried about you. What about her?”

 _Rachael._ _Scared of me._

“I see.” Edward glances at Jonathan, who has been sitting quietly this whole time. Edward wonders if he’s listening in on their conversation. Wonders if he can even do that.

“I want to stay.” Ace’s voice is soft, slightly raspy from lack of use. Edward hadn’t expected her to speak. She seems to be addressing him but her eyes are fixed on Jonathan. And Jonathan… he just seems so exhausted. Edward wonders if she’s trying to tell him something. “I don’t want to go back.”

 And in that moment, Edward sees no reason to bring her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blech. im not happy with any of my writing these days


	29. Chapter 29

“So that’s where you disappear to all the time? When you say you have meetings?”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been taking care of them for how long?”

“…About six years now,” Jonathan murmurs, staring out over the ocean.

It didn’t feel right to go home. Edward feels like he still needs to process… what happened. So he asked Jonathan to take him back to Gotham. Back to the castle. They’ve been sitting at the cliff’s edge for a while, drifting in and out of silence.

Edward has so many questions. Questions he can’t even put into words. He doesn’t know if he can see Jonathan the same way anymore. It’s so easy to assume that he does the things he does out of selfishness or cruelty, but… maybe it’s not as clear cut as Edward would like to imagine.

“Do you genuinely care about them?” Edward asks, tearing blades of grass out of the ground. “I mean… why do you invest so much into those kids?”

“Of course I care about them,” he says softly. “And… I feel obligated to be there for them. Because no one else is.” He slumps forward a little, breathing a quiet sigh. “I lost a lot for those kids. My reputation, my rank. You. And maybe it was worth it, I don’t know, but… I think I needed to do what I did.”

“What do you mean you… lost me?” Edward asks slowly, feeling something settle uncomfortably in his chest.

Jonathan hesitates. He chews on the edge of his lip. Finally, he says, “When I left you… I left you for them. And I didn’t intend to be away for as long as I was, but—there were just so many of them, and I couldn’t stand by and watch them be treated like that and then—then there was the trial. And I got caught up with that.”

“What trial? What are you talking about?”

“For stealing. Kidnapping. Whatever you want to call it. When I had my wings taken.” He heaves a heavy sigh, lacing his fingers together. “It’s like I could see myself losing everything. And you were the last thing to go.” For a second, it sounds like his voice is going to break. But it doesn’t. “And… I guess that’s something I just have to live with.”

Well, shit. “Why didn’t you tell me any of that?” Edward asks, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay with me because of what I was going through,” he says simply. “I wanted you to choose. On your own. And you chose the way you did and that’s… that’s fine.”

Edward doesn’t think Jonathan’s ever been so open with him. He always hides behind some level of mystique, some level of cryptic nonsense. And to hear him speak so plainly and simply about the things that happened while he was away is just… it’s something he never expected.

He’s beginning to realize that maybe he doesn’t know Jonathan as well as he thought he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like the recent chapters and plotline are rlly sloppy and shitty but i don't have the headspace to be better :/


	30. Chapter 30

 “Tired?”

Edward nods, his head resting comfortably in Jonathan’s lap. He lets his eyes close softly, lips parting as Jonathan runs his fingers through his hair. “I might fall asleep on you,” he mumbles.

“That’s alright.” His fingertips graze Edward’s forehead as he smoothes his hair back. “Do you want to go upstairs to one of the bedrooms?”

“I’m fine here.” He breathes a soft sigh, leaning into Jonathan’s touch. “Don’t stop,” he murmurs.

“I won’t.”

Edward opens his eyes again, looking up at Jonathan. His gaze is trained on Edward’s face but his eyes are unfocused, as if looking through Edward rather than at him. Against his better judgment, Edward smiles. It’s rare that he gets to just… admire Jonathan. There really is something ethereal about him, something about the color of his eyes. Or the curve of his lips. Something not quite human, but completely lovely all the same.

He can be so lovely sometimes.

 Jonathan continues to absently massage his scalp, strands of hair slipping between his fingers. Edward reaches up to tap his cheek, shaking him out of his reverie. “Can I ask you something?” he asks, his voice soft.

“…I guess,” Jonathan says slowly, still seeming a little hazy. Maybe he’s just tired as well.

“Do you ever wish that we were still… that nothing had changed? Between us?”

“Sometimes. Most of the time.” He shrugs, lifting his eyes to stare at the living room wall. “I don’t think it matters though.”

“Why not?”

“Things are never going to go back to the way they were, so why bother wishing they would?”

How pragmatic. “But it’s sort of nice to think about, isn’t it?”

“These days… it just makes me sad. To think about how things used to be.”

“Oh.”


	31. Chapter 31

“Edward.”

Edward grumbles something unintelligible, burying his face in his pillow. It’s too early to be bothered.

“You should probably get up.”

That’s a tall order. His whole body aches and he wants nothing more than to melt into the mattress and disappear.

He hates feeling like this.

“I made coffee. If you want some,” Jonathan says. “I could bring it to you, if you’re still… if you want to stay in bed a little longer.”

Jonathan can be so nice sometimes.

“Edward?”

Edward wishes he could be nicer. Sometimes he thinks he was born without the capacity to be a nice person. Like he’s missing some fundamental part of his brain that just… makes kindness happen.

“Are you awake?” he murmurs, his voice sounding closer than before.

Is he a bad person? “I’m awake,” he mumbles into the pillow. “What time is it?”

“Almost eight. You’re going to be late for work.”

How can he even think about doing his job when he barely feels like a person? “Not going to work today.” He’s allowed to take a personal day every once in a while.

“Oh. Do you want me to take care of the office for you?”

“No, that’s okay.” He rolls over onto his back, keeping his eyes squeezed shut. “Are you busy today?”

“Not really.” He feels Jonathan sit down on the edge of the bed. “Why?”

“Stay here. With me.” Edward reaches for Jonathan, his hand closing around a handful of his shirt.

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asks carefully. Edward feels his hand come to rest on his forehead, smoothing his hair back.

“Yes.”

There’s a long pause. Jonathan continues to stroke his hair, otherwise remaining still. “Are you feeling alright?” he asks after a while.

“No. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine. I just wanted to check.”


	32. Chapter 32

“What are you going to do about the kids?”

Edward takes a long sip from his coffee. “Isn’t Ace the only one that’s actually a kid?” he asks, stalling.

“They’re all young.”

“But the others are adults. Legally.”

Jonathan shakes his head. “I don’t understand that about you. I don’t see how you can consider someone that age to be an adult. I mean, I’m surprised that someone _your_ age gets to be an adult.”

Ouch. “You say that as if _I_ came up with the age of adulthood.”

“I just mean ‘you’ as in humans.”

“Right.” He takes another sip, trying to focus on the crossword in front of him. The letters are blurry. He has a splitting headache. “I mean, adulthood is usually linked to voting age, so… that’s why it is the way it is.”

“I don’t really get voting either,” Jonathan mutters, puttering around the kitchen doing God knows what.

Good lord. “What’s not to get?”

“You’re just all so… stupid. Not you, of course, but—I mean, how can you be trusted to… choose political leaders?”

“That is a very good question.” After reading the same sentence over and over again, Edward finally manages to understand the first crossword clue. He fills in the answer.

He opens the kitchen window, tossing something outside. Probably feeding the birds again. “So. Are you going to tell me what you’re planning to do with the kids or not?”

Damn it. “I don’t know,” he says with a heavy sigh. “What do you want me to say? That I’m just going to leave them there and not tell their friends and families what’s going on? Is _that_ what you want?”

“I just want to know what you’re going to do,” he replies, his voice annoyingly level despite Edward’s exasperation. “I would like you to be honest, if possible.”

“Well, I _honestly_ don’t know what to do.” He fills in another crossword answer. “I’m inclined to at least try to do my job so I can afford to pay rent, but if that’s just going to put people in danger then… I don’t know. I don’t _know_.” No matter what he does, he ends up being a shitty person to somebody.

“Ultimately, it’s up to you.” Jonathan slides into the seat across from Edward at the table, apparently done with whatever mindless task he was carrying out. “And I won’t blame you for whatever you decide.”

God, he hates how Jonathan always does that. Always makes a big show of how understanding and tolerant he is. “If you say so.”

He peers across the table at Edward’s crossword book. “It doesn’t usually take you so long to finish one of these,” he notes.

“I know,” he mumbles, closing the book and leaning back in his chair. “It’s just… hard to focus for some reason.”


	33. Chapter 33

 “Where does your dick go when you’re a bird?”

Jonathan pauses, detaching his mouth from Edward’s neck. “Beg pardon?”

“I was just thinking—I mean, I don’t really know much about bird anatomy, so I’m not sure… what the genital situation is,” Edward finishes lamely, realizing how poorly timed his question was. Why can’t he ever keep his mouth shut?

Jonathan straightens up. “I think you’re forgetting a key piece of information: I’m not a bird.”

“I mean, you basically are.”

“No. I’m a demon. My species has been around a lot longer than any type of bird.”

“For all intents and purposes, you’re a bird,” Edward says, grinning slightly as he watches Jonathan grow progressively more annoyed. “You have feathers and a beak and you had wings. That sounds like a bird to me.”

“A lot of things sound similar. That doesn’t mean they’re the same,” he grumbles.

“Oh, lighten up. I’m only teasing.” He takes Jonathan’s hand into his own, pressing a kiss to the inside of his wrist. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“So…” he murmurs, kissing his way up Jonathan’s forearm. “What _does_ happen to your dick?”

“I don’t know. It sort of just… stops existing.” He shrugs. “The only reason I even have one is for your convenience.”

“How considerate of you.” He tugs on Jonathan’s shirt, attempting to close the space between them.

Jonathan dips his head to kiss him, bringing one hand to his cheek. “Are you feeling any better?” he asks softly. “You seem a bit more… energetic.”

“I feel a little less awful,” he admits. “Almost like I’m an actual person.”

“That’s good.” He works his way back down to his neck, lips grazing the base of his throat. “Less awful is good.”

“Yeah. It is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who finally got around to updating again.   
> sorry this is short and not that good i wrote it in like 5 mins


	34. Chapter 34

“Remind me what we’re doing here again?”

“Birthday gift.”

“Right. For whom?” Edward asks, picking up a glass sculpture and turning it over in his hands. He’s not quite sure what it’s a sculpture of, but he _is_ sure that it’s ugly. Jonathan dragged him to a tiny shop in Gotham with no explanation or warning. Edward is less that enthused.

“Ace.”

“Ah. Your favorite wayward youth.” He tries not to sound vaguely bitter. Directs his attention to a very nice selection of vases.

“I don’t recall saying she was my favorite,” Jonathan replies. He’s looking at a row of jars—herbs and powders and crystals. It’s all a bit too mystical for Edward’s taste.

“You don’t have to say it. It’s very apparent that you like her the best.” He picks up a heavy beeswax candle shaped like a skull. It’s twenty-five dollars. He puts it back.

“Am I correct in my assumption that you are actually jealous of a teenager?”

“I’m not jealous.” Everything in this store is so goddamn expensive. Thirty dollars for a pack of incense? Ridiculous. “I mean, would I like to think that I meant more to you than a random child you picked up off the street? Absolutely. But I know better than to even entertain the thought, so it’s fine.”

 “You’re acting like she’s some sort of street urchin I found in a gutter or something,” Jonathan mutters, finally turning to face Edward. “Just because I care about other people doesn’t mean I don’t care about you,” he says simply.

Edward thinks that’s _exactly_ what that means. “I know that.”

“Do you? Because you’re not acting like you do.”

“If you’re trying to bait me into a fight—”

Jonathan scoffs. “When have I ever done that?”

Without missing a beat, Edward says: “June eighth, Costco—”

“Oh, will you _ever_ let that go?”

“All you had to do was pick up the fucking ice cream bars, but _nooooo_ , you had to be a difficult piece of shit and—”

He reaches out to smack Edward on the back of the head. “You’re yelling.”

“Don’t hit me.”

“We’re in public and you’re _yelling_.”

“Don’t fucking hit me, Jonathan, I swear to _God—_ ”

“I barely touched you.”

Edward feels like he’s going to scream. It’s moments like these when he asks himself why he stills puts up with Jonathan. And he thought they were actually doing well for once. “I’m leaving,” he announces.

Jonathan sighs, reaching as if to stop Edward from walking away. “Don’t—”

“Fuck you. I’m leaving.” He turns and storms out of the building, not bothering to look and see if Jonathan is following him.


	35. Chapter 35

“What’s your problem?”

Edward says nothing, furiously pressing the elevator button over and over again.

“Can you just decide once and for all if you like me or not? It’d be easier for everyone involved.”

As if Edward _lives_ to make Jonathan’s life easier. He presses the button again.

“Because I’m really fucking tired of you acting like you love me for as long as it suits you and then turning around and screaming at me in the middle of a store.”

He was hardly screaming. The elevator arrives and he gets on. Jonathan follows.

“If you’re just going to use me to comfort you when you’re depressed or whatever it is you’re doing, at least be upfront about it,” Jonathan snaps.

“This from the man who is literally using me for a place to stay,” Edward mutters under his breath.

Jonathan seems taken aback. Hurt, even. “I wanted to stay with because I loved you,” he says softly. “And I missed you.”

“God, shut up. I’m not falling for that shit.” The elevator opens on a roof garden. There are a few people milling around, but thankfully not many. Edward makes a beeline to a bench under a tree at the outer edge of the garden.

“Why are you acting like I’m out to get you or something? It’s like you think everything is some sort of elaborate trick at your expense.”

He sits down on the bench. Takes a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, lighting one with a shaking hand. He hasn’t smoked in years. But he needs something.

“I thought you quit.”

“Seemed as good of a time as any to start up again,” he mutters, intentionally blowing a puff of smoke in Jonathan’s face. “You’ve driven me to a nicotine addiction. I hope you’re happy.”

“Ecstatic,” Jonathan says dryly.

“Look,” Edward says, tapping a bit of ash off the end of the cigarette. “Do you want to do this right now?”

“Seems as good of a time as any,” he repeats, his voice flat.

“Fine. Sit down.”

Jonathan takes a seat beside him on the bench. “Well?”

He takes a deep breath. “I know you don’t love me anymore.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Let me talk.”

“Sorry.”

“I know you don’t love me anymore,” he repeats, taking another drag on his cigarette. “And that’s fine. I’m fine with that. But it’s just… it feels like you’re trying to be my boyfriend again without having to actually be emotionally invested in me. Like you just want to be able to fuck me and call me pretty and drag me all over the city with you without needing to force yourself to feel something for me again.”

“You told me you weren’t ready for another relationship with me,” Jonathan says softly. “I was trying to respect that.”

“It doesn’t feel like that. It just feels like you’re taking advantage of me.”

“I’m sorry. That’s… not my intention.” He sighs. “Do you actually think I don’t love you anymore?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell with you.” He exhales a mouthful of smoke. “And maybe I’m a little jealous that you like spending time with the kids more than me.”

“I spend plenty of time with you. I spent a whole day with you last week.”

“But that was last week. How many times have you been over there this week?”

“Only a couple.” He gives Edward a pointed look. “They’re children, Ed.”

“Only one of them is actually a child.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know,” he says quietly. “I know. It’s just… well, you could stand to give me a little more attention.”

“And you could stand to be a touch less needy.”

Edward sticks his tongue out at Jonathan, stubbing the cigarette out on the back of his hand.

Jonathan doesn’t even blink. He dusts a bit of ash off his skin. “I’ll try to be more… considerate. Alright?”

“Thanks. And I’ll try not to freak out and yell at you so much.”

“Much appreciated.” He leans over, giving Edward a quick kiss on the cheek. “You know I’d do anything for you,” he murmurs, leaning his forehead against Edward’s temple.

“How cliché.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is stupid and i hate it


	36. Chapter 36

“No, Mom, I’m… I’m fine. Really. I can’t tell you where I am, but… I’m fine.” Harley casts a nervous glance at Edward, clutching the cell phone so tightly her knuckles have gone white. “No, I’m not with him. I’m… It’s like a halfway house, kind of. I’m with a few other people and we’re—Yeah. I promise.”

Edward checks his watch. She’s been on the phone for almost an hour now. Scott finished his call in about three minutes—he told his old roommate he was in witness protection. Harley, on the other hand, seems to be in the midst of a long, heartfelt conversation with her mother. Must be nice to have a functional family.

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll—Okay. Alright. Okay. Call you later. I love you, bye.” She hangs up, passing the burner phone back to Edward. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

“So, will you get paid now? Since we’ve all talked to our parents and stuff?”

“If I don’t get paid, I have grounds to sue, so… probably.” He tucks the phone into his pocket. “Everyone’s been accounted for except Ace.”

“Do you think she’s going to actually talk to her friend?”

He shrugs. “Jonathan’s talking to her. Hopefully, he can at least get her to agree to give proof that she’s alive and well, but ideally he’d squeeze a phone call or something out of her.” They’ve been cooped up in her bedroom almost all day. Edward’s gotten through all four of the others’ calls in the time they’ve been in there.

He’s not jealous, though. Because it’s stupid to be jealous of an actual teenager. And he’s not stupid.

“Do you know if Jonathan’s doing okay?” Harley asks, flopping down on the couch. “He seems super depressed lately.”

“I hadn’t noticed.”

“He, like, barely talks to us anymore,” she continues. “I mean, he shows up to give us money or gifts or whatever, and then he goes upstairs and lets Ace poke around in his brain a little bit before he goes home.”

“He lets her… poke around in his brain?” He is _not_ jealous of a teenager.

She shrugs. “I think it helps him. To not have to talk.”

“Oh.”

“It’s kind of like going to a therapist, I think. Except it’s a five billion year old demon and a fourteen year old girl reading each other’s minds.”

“Fun.” He sighs. He just… doesn’t get their relationship. At all.

“Well, speak of the devil!” Harley announces, turning her attention to the stairwell.

“Not quite the devil,” Jonathan says, making a slow descent to the landing. “Here.” He holds out a folded piece of paper to Edward.

He takes it. “What’s this?”

“Note. For her friend.”

“Oh.” He doesn’t unfold it. “She wouldn’t call?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

And then Jonathan does something very odd. He takes a few steps toward Edward. Cups his face in his hands. Kisses him. Right there in front of Harley, for seemingly no reason. He pulls away, letting his hands fall to his sides. “Can we go home now?” he asks softly.

“Yeah,” Edward murmurs. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just want to leave.”

“Okay. We can leave.”


	37. Chapter 37

“Did Ace say something to you?”

“She never says anything.”

“No, I suppose she doesn’t,” Edward says softly, running his fingers through Jonathan’s feathers. “You just… seemed really bummed out when you came downstairs.”

“Did I?”

“Yes. Noticeably so.”

“Oh.” Jonathan closes his many eyes. “Damn.”

“What happened?” he murmurs.

“Nothing happened. Sometimes I just get sad.”

“I’ve never known you to be sad.”

“I’m very good at hiding it from you,” he says, leaning into Edward’s touch.

“I wish you wouldn’t.” He bends to press a kiss to the curve of Jonathan’s beak. “I might like you better if you were sadder. It would humanize you.”

“Are you implying that sadness is a uniquely human trait?”

“No. I don’t know.” He trails his fingertips absently down his spine. “I just meant… You’re always so stoic. It makes it hard to relate to you. That’s all.”

“I see.”

“Is that why you always go to Ace? Because you don’t want me to know you’re sad?” Edward asks.

Jonathan says nothing. After a few moments, he nods. “Yes,” he says, his voice cracking slightly.

“Oh.” He should’ve been there. For Jonathan. He should’ve noticed that he—He was so caught up with all his own drama that he didn’t even notice that… that Jonathan needed him too.

Christ, he really has been a piece of shit.

Jonathan sighs, sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed. “Don’t look at me for a minute.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to put my face back. The way you like it.”

“I like your face like this too,” he says gently, scooting forward to sit beside Jonathan. “Beak and all.”

He makes a noise that Edward thinks is a laugh, beak clicking softly. “You don’t wish I was more human?”

“All I wish is that you would talk to me,” he murmurs, resting his head on Jonathan’s shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me everything. But… you can tell me anything. I hope you know that.”

“Yeah. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is gonna be the last one folks. i'm bad at endings


	38. Chapter 38

“You’re going to make me late for work,” Edward mumbles into his pillow, arching his back to meet Jonathan’s touch.

“Would you like me to stop?” he asks, his breath warm against Edward’s skin.

“No.”

“Then I suppose you’ll just have to be a little late.” Jonathan lets out a slow sigh, lowering his head to rest against the nape of Edward’s neck. He digs his fingers into Edward’s hip.

“Christ,” he says, his voice muffled by the pillow beneath him. “I love you.”

“Really?” It sounds so soft when he says it. Almost as if he’s afraid to hear the answer.

He nods quickly, grasping at the sheets. “So fucking much.”

“I… never thought I’d hear you say that again.”

Edward can’t help but laugh. He doesn’t know why—it’s not really funny—but it just… feels right. “I love you,” he repeats, relishing each syllable as it passes his lips. “Even though you can be a fucking idiot sometimes.”

“Fuck,” Jonathan rasps, his lips grazing Edward’s shoulder. “You know I love you more than anything.”

“I know. I know.”

“And I’m sorry.” He stifles a groan, pulling Edward closer against his chest. “For everything. I—I should’ve been better. For you.”

“I know,” he says again. He reaches behind himself, tapping Jonathan’s arm in an unspoken request.

Jonathan stops, his breathing ragged. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Edward rolls onto his back, reaching up to take Jonathan’s face into his hands. He kisses him. God, he loves kissing him. When they separate, Edward lifts his gaze to meet Jonathan’s. “I forgive you,” he murmurs.

And, in the end, that’s all he needed to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is a very lazy ending but it is the ending nonetheless. Thanks to everyone that read and left comments/kudos. It really means a lot. 
> 
> Upcoming things: Tomorrow I'll probably be posting the first chapter of a college AU I've been working on (it is very different from the other college AU I wrote) so stay tuned for that. 
> 
> You can also find more of my writing and notifications about updates over on my Tumblr (gayestnerdsingotham.tumblr.com)
> 
> Thanks!


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